Hitori Ni Shinaide
by Ku10-41
Summary: Shinichi is leaving to fight the organization and Ran is determined to not let him go alone this time. As a series of rational reasoning deliberations fall out, their irrational love starts overpowering as the night grows. Shinichi is in a dilemma. He's caught in a web of truth, trust, lies and broken promises. What should he do? Take her along or leave her behind like always?


Disclaimer: I do not own either Detective Conan or the song _Clarity_ which I've used in this story. Detective Conan belongs to the great mind of Aoyama Gosho and the song Clarity belongs to Zedd. If anything, I suggest you go and listen to it once, it's beautiful! I originally heard its cover by Sam Tsui and fell in love with it!

Warning: Sexual/Graphic Content. Readers' discretion is advised.

Hitori Ni Shinaide

" _Don't leave me alone"- Ran Mouri, V-23 F-229/Episode-174_

The sky was overcast with thick black clouds, threatening to burst anytime now. A storm seemed imminent.

Her gaze briefly lingered towards them outside the window. It seemed like a premonition, really; of the typhoon that was closing in on them, threatening to engulf everyone in its range, and anyone who so much as even _dared_ to cross its path. She had a bad feeling about this, the same gut feeling she got when he was leaving her that evening in Tropical Land, the place where it all had begun.

When the sky illuminated with a bolt of lightning, followed by a glass-shattering thunder, a chill ran down her spine and she tightened her grip around the arm that held her, snuggling deeper into his embrace. She was not going to repeat that mistake again, never, she would do everything in her might to stop him from leaving, at least not without her.

' _I'll never let go of your hand, never…'_

* * *

"I _have_ to leave Ran. This is the decisive moment I've been waiting for all along. _They_ are closing in with full force. We finally have strong allies and the right strategies to take them down once and for all, for good." Shinichi said, locking eyes with her. The glint in his eyes spoke of his strong determination, the iron-willed detective that he was. And yet, somewhere in the corner, she could briefly make out a hint of guilt in them. The guilt that she had come to know all too well. The guilt those eyes displayed when he was about to leave her every time. And she had to admit, she was _scared_ of that look. It was almost like a prologue to the inevitable, something that had happened numerous times now. She loved to see that determined look in his eyes, but this guilt? No, it was something she wished she'd _never_ see.

"Then take me along. I won't sit here doing nothing when you're out there, fighting them! I want to be by your side and fight along!" She knew it was impossible to stop him once he'd set his mind to something. But she could, at least , try to persuade him to make some last-minute changes to the said plan, namely involving her in it.

She took his hand in hers, feeling his warmth seep into her; and stared into his eyes, almost pleading " _Please_ ".

Shinichi's stoic eyes overwhelmed with a surge of emotions- guilt, pain, sorrow; and moreover _fear_. Swiftly, he darted his eyes away from her, and sank back to the rigid look he wore before, almost immediately.

" _I can't_." He looked back at her. "It's too dangerous". He flinched a little and she realized that the hurt must have shown in her eyes. Nevertheless, he continued speaking.

"I've already got myself involved neck-deep into this case, Ran." He brought his free hand to cup her face. "And it's my fault, that you've also been dragged into this entire mess, without even knowing it. I cannot afford to draw you anymore into this nasty case Ran, not if I can help it". He stared deep down into her eyes, sheer conviction written on his face. Somewhere, the grip of his hand grew firmer around hers; the grip that had originally been initiated by her. She knew, at once, that he was starting to play the Knight yet again; the self-sacrificing kind, who'd do anything to protect his dear ones, would cross his limits to put them out of the harm's way. Wasn't the entire Conan façade itself an enormous evidence of this trait of his?

 _One year_ , he was there, living right under her nose, for one entire year, carefully guarding his secret, keeping his worries and apprehensions to himself. And of the numerous times she tried to confront him with it, he went to such _great lengths_ to fool her again into thinking otherwise. It was the _last one_ , the final one; in which she decided to play _his game_ , and confront him with enough substantial evidences; did he finally confess that indeed, he had lied to her, and that too for _an year_.

She was really heartbroken initially. She even went ahead and accused him of not trusting her with his secrets and painting such a big lie in front of her, even though this directly involved her. And he, like the righteous man he is, gave no excuses and silently accepted his fault. He let her hurl a litany of harsh and false accusations at him and offered no explanations in his defence.

It was _Ai-chan_ , she was the one who came to his defence and she was the one who enlightened her with the hard-hitting reality. She told her, that how much it pained him every waking moment to see her miss him and cry over his absence even though he was literally right next to her always.

' _I don't want to see her cry anymore, even if it means that I no longer exist in her heart'._

She told her that she'd seen the hurt in his eyes, as he spoke those heart-breaking words. And as for the trust element, it wasn't her that he didn't trust, it was _himself_. He didn't trust himself enough to confide in her with his secret, at least not without getting her involved any further.

' _Believe me, I know. I won't do anything that gets Ran involved with the Black Organization_ '.

Ai-chan had told her, with a bitter laugh, that in the end it had been _her insistence_ , her warnings, that had held him back from telling her anything, even though he'd already made up his mind about revealing himself to her right after the incident when he had been shot and had learned that _she knew_ after she'd offered to donate her blood, without having asked even once for Conan-kun's blood type. And not just then; time and again, she had insisted that he keep up his charade and he did so willingly, pushing the limits to keep her from knowing; only because it had meant _her safety._ Ai-chan had acknowledged her, with much certainty, that he would have kept her in the dark for his entire life, then see her get killed after knowing the truth. _That_ much he cared for her. Obviously, he would never voice it out loud in front of her. After all, he had never been that good in vocalizing his feelings.

So, Ai-chan had concluded after, that it was partly her fault as well, that the truth had been kept from her for so long. The risk was too high, had she also become a party to this secret. So, if nothing else, she should also be sharing half of his blame.

She was speechless after that. How could she have overlooked something like this? _That_ was when she had come to understand his predicament. The guilt that followed was unbearable, really. Not only had she thrown a thousand false accusations at him, she accused him of not trusting her, when the real reason was that he was actually trying to protect her this entire time! This realization broke her; and the next thing she knew was that she'd found herself crying in front of him, apologizing for misunderstanding his intentions. He was shocked initially, stating that he was the one who should apologize in this situation since no matter what the reason was, the fact didn't change that he _did_ deceive her for one entire year. But she'd been quick to beat him to it, saying that she would have probably done the same, had she been in his shoes. And they just stood there, apologizing to each other and Shinichi consoling her not to cry and just like that, the matter was resolved.

But now, he was playing that protection game again. She perfectly understood his reasons but she wanted him to know that she was not a damsel-in-distress. After all, Mouri Ran was not going to be a liability on anyone.

"I understand your reasons very well, Shinichi but I'm perfectly capable of protecting myself, I'll have you know."

"I know! I know you can, Ran!" He brought his other hand to cover her fist which he had been holding all-too-firmly all along and took a step towards her.

"But this is something _far_ bigger, much grander. This is _not_ something you can handle with your karate! There are Agencies like the FBI, CIA, MI6 and the PSB on _their_ trail. This Organization is grimmer than you imagine it to be." Even as those words left his mouth, there was a small voice echoing inside his mind, resounding with the words that Haibara had once told him, regarding Ran.

' _She's strong Kudou-kun, stronger than you think._ '

"Which gives me all the more reason to accompany you!" His thoughts were cut off as she retorted.

" _Ran…_ " There was a low undercurrent in his voice.

" _Listen Shinichi_." She breathed.

"I accept your reasons. You want to protect me. Very well. But don't you think I would also feel the same? Don't you think I also feel the need to protect you? Especially, when you're out there, all by yourself, trying to bring down this elaborate crime syndicate; which has existed for decades now, as you told me, and has got so many agencies from around the world on its trail?"

She took a step towards him. "For once Shinichi, think about how important you're to the people who care about you!"

She opened her fist to intertwine her fingers with his and stared into his eyes. " _For once, just_ _think about how important you're to me!_ "

The stone mask which he'd been wearing until now; she was breaking it brick-by-brick. His forces were faltering now. For the first time in his 18-year old life, the Great Detective Kudou Shinichi, also dubbed as the Heisei Holmes, was finding himself at a loss of words to say.

She saw something shift in his blue eyes, and realized that she had hit the right chord. She continued.

"You know Shinichi." She started softly. "The day you let me in on your secret, on your predicament; I promised myself something." She brought her free hand to cup the join of their fingers. "That I'm never going to let you be alone now. For one year, you shouldered the burden of this case alone; you never let anyone get very close, because you felt obligated to protect those around you. You were alone- with your doubts, fears and inhibitions. But not anymore." She brought the join of their hands to her lips and placed a soft kiss on his fingers.

"I will stay by your side and fight along with you. We're in this together now." She breathed.

" _If we die, we die together."_

* * *

Ran's honest words, her love and loyalty towards him stripped Shinichi of all his cognitive functions; logic and reasoning departing his faculties at the speed of light. She had somehow always managed to hamper his senses such that his sensibilities started overpowering his senses. His heart was badgered with the strong feelings he possessed for the girl, powerful emotions threatening to break free to find surface.

When Ran looked up at him, she saw a glimmer in his eyes; a unique shine which seemed to be somehow, drawing her in. She tried to evade his gaze, but felt extremely helpless in doing so.

Before he knew, he had closed the distance between them and unconsciously leaned in for a kiss, both hands cradling her face; soft, velvety lips catching hers. When realization hit her after a few seconds, her own hands found their way around his neck, before briefly resting one over his heart. It was the sensation of her hand on his heart that made him realize that it was racing, as she deepened the kiss.

And as the kiss deepened, their bodies pulled closer and closer to each other. It felt like a vortex of emotions, that was sucking them in and they found themselves powerless against its force. It was as if some indefinable amount of vigour had kicked inside their insatiate hearts. The feeling was very new and intoxicating.

Nevertheless, the more pressing need to breathe drew them apart after what felt like less than a jiffy.

When Ran looked up at Shinichi, she was amazed. They say that eyes are the mirror to your soul. Indeed, there was much truth in that saying, as Shinichi's eyes spoke volumes of the tempest of emotions swirling inside his soul. Fire danced in his gaze and her own eyes saw reflecting the same intensity of desire.

 _High dive into frozen waves_

 _Where the past comes back to life_

 _Fight fear for the selfish pain_

 _It was worth it every time._

A beat later, he was leaning over her all over again, lingering on her lips. His lips brushed against hers, light and ephemeral. His right hand was grazing her upper arm while the left was slowly wrapping itself around the small of her back. The feeling was so intoxicating, so exhilarating, she wanted more. Never had she wanted him to kiss her so badly. Their hot breaths intermingled and a new wave of thrill ran down her spine. She wrapped an arm around his neck, placing the other behind his head, her fingers threading through his hair and pulled him down to intensify the kiss.

 _Hold still right before we crash,_

' _Cause we both know how this ends._

 _A clock ticks till it breaks your glass_

 _And I drown in you again._

As the kiss became more demanding, Shinichi's mind stopped articulating coherent sentences. All semblance of self-control was forgotten as they stumbled backwards on the bed and were disrobing each other. His heart thudded against his chest. He ran his fingers along her neck, her jaw line, and then cupped her chin in his hand. And stopped. They just stood there for a moment, staring into each other's eyes, savoring the passion in the other's gaze. And all at once, they slammed together. Shinichi tasted her and realized that he had been starving. As he traced a trail of kisses on her smooth neck, down to her shoulder blades, he experienced his own assertive desperation bubbling inside him by the minute. As he gently kissed the sensitive spot at the junction of her neck and shoulder, Ran unconsciously let out a soft and throaty moan. It was too much pleasure, and yet she yearned for more. She cupped his face in her palms, coaxing him to look up at her. He almost did a double take as he looked into her sapphire-blue eyes. They were so expressive and were shining with so much emotion; he felt he could almost read into her very soul. That soft smile gracing her lips, the strands of chocolate brown hair framing her face which flowed down from her mussed head; and puffed cheeks glowing slightly pink; combined with those expressive, azure eyes; Ran was looking ethereal. His own chest swelled with an emotion unknown; an emotion he had always found difficult to comprehend, as he let her draw him into her embrace, catching her lips with him.

' _Cause you're the piece of me,_

 _I wish, I didn't need;_

 _Chasing relentlessly,_

 _Still fight and I don't l know why?_

They were kissing like drowning people breathe- like suddenly they'd discovered something that has never been so sweet before that moment. The conversation between his fingers and her skin picked up. As their warm bodies caressed each other's; they wished the moment would freeze, that time would come to a standstill; and they could stay like this forever, strongly held in each other's embrace, enjoying the closeness they shared right now and loving each other. Passion lingers in a state of bliss, love loves you more when you kiss. As his body pressed against hers, he could hear his own heartbeat syncing to the rhythm of hers, as he kissed her and petted her over and over. A miniscule part of his brain, which was still slightly sub-conscious, was screaming at him to stop before it's too late, before he ends up hurting her yet again. But, that part was too tiny to control his senses as he found himself drowning in the sea of his own emotions. His mind had always failed him, whenever it came to _her_ , his confession in London being the most prominent of all instances.

 _Ran was his Achilles' heel._

 _If our love is tragedy,_

 _Why are you my remedy?_

 _If our love's insanity,_

 _Why are you my clarity?_

Her moans and his groans were drowned by the sound of the big drops of rain hitting the window panes now. The storm had marked its onset. But they were too busy to pay any attention, having mentally extricated themselves from anything happening in the outside world. Their line of vision was filled with each other's sight, as their bodies moved in tandem to some faraway melody; swift and exquisite movement of their lips and limbs, leaving no stone unturned in displaying their affection and strong feelings that they possessed for each other. Shinichi continued whispering a thousand words of affection in her ears, as if to remind her of how much he loved her, as he kissed her earlobes, her forehead, her cheeks and again her lips. Ran kept chanting _'Shinichi'_ as low moans escaped her lips. His name felt like a prayer on her lips. He dove his head in the crook of her neck to kiss her; and her head subconsciously shifted to the other side to provide him better access.

 _Why are you my remedy?_

 _Why are you my clarity?_

Ran was amazed at how gentle Shinichi was being with her. He knew how to pluck at the right strings, and yet he took utmost care to not hurt her in anyway. She was feeling genuinely blessed at the moment, that she could feel and receive such a kind of love – pure and unconditional; wherein, one would ignore his own selfish needs and prioritize the other's well-being before themselves. Ran's chest swelled with love. She wanted him. She wanted him to be selfish this time and think about himself. This _suiri-otaku_ , whom she had fallen for, had literally given away his entire life fighting injustice. Revealing the truth is what he practically lived for. And Kami-sama forbid, if an adverse situation arises, he would sacrifice his own life without even thinking twice. Ran shivered at the thought. She tightened her hold around his back and pulled him closer. Shinichi misinterpreted her action as an indication that she was cold, and tightened his own embrace around her.

Outside, heavy drops of rain continued to hit the now deserted streets of Tokyo as the storm raged on, to the point that even normal visibility was fogged by the enormous expanse of whiteness. Inside, their bodies were now pressed so close to each other, that their heartbeats could be mistaken as belonging to one single person.

For the first time in his life, Shinichi's brain experienced a meltdown; as he unconsciously made a particular movement which made both of them freeze on their spot, eyes widening as waves of ecstasy travelled through their being, stripping them of any logical thought. He was suddenly submerged in the sea of euphoria. He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but he did not know where he ended and she began. Ran's grip tightened around his back as she pulled him closer and closer to her, almost digging her nails into his skin. There was a wordless pleading in the possessive way she clutched him that she _wanted_ this; and wanted _more_. And Shinichi, whose body had long stopped listening to his brain, couldn't hold back anymore. He repeated his motions over and over till his muscles started burning from strain and exhaustion. He was panting and Ran just stood there, in her wide-eyed ecstatic state. It seemed as if she was staring into his eyes, yet it seemed as if she was looking through him, as her own exhilaration engulfed her whole.

 _Walk on through a red parade,_

 _And refuse to make amends._

 _It cuts deep through our ground,_

 _And makes us forget all common sense._

Their hands engaged in an interesting motion; tightly clasped with each other's; fingers intertwined, as they massaged each other's palms; as if releasing something pent up since a long time. The bed sheets below them rustled as Ran's free hand moved across to clutch them tightly, as if seeking support to contain the colossal amount of bliss that was filling her being. She whimpered aloud and the moans escaping Shinichi's lips reverberated around their universe, breaking the dead silence of the night.

After what felt like an eternity, slowly, they came back down to the earth. Shinichi hid his face in the crook between Ran's neck and shoulder, inhaling the scent of her shampooed hair; as he continued to caress the sides of her upper arm, attempting to comfort her and calm her down from her elated state. Soon, he noticed that her breathing had evened out. He moved to kiss her forehead and shifted to lie beside her. He reached out for the covers that lay crumpled on the far end of the bed and brought them up to sufficiently cover her; and then himself. It wouldn't do if she caught a cold because of him. As chilly winds gusted across the room, he drew her closer into his embrace, in an attempt to warm both of them. Now feeling warm and cozy, he let exhaustion dawn upon him and soon; sleep claimed him and they both fell into a deep slumber.

Outside, the sky cleared as the heavy downpour seemed to come to a temporary halt. The moon emerged from behind the clouds, and a constellation of stars studded the night sky, imaging a diamond necklace resting on the deep-blue velvet base of the display case. The moonlight filtered through the window and fell on the slumbering form of the two lovers, who slept without a care in the world, held possessively in each other's embrace.

* * *

That open field in the outskirts of Gunma was completely deserted. No trees, no bushes. Just some burnt and dried patches of grass and weeds covered the barren ground beneath him. It was the night of the new moon and the only source of light was the flickering street lamp from across the field. To make it worse, his visibility was further clouded by the drops of blood dripping from the deep cut on his forehead, which was almost forming a trail down his face by now. His head was a bit woozy from the blow of the iron rod he had received earlier while fighting _them_. But that was not the real problem. The _real problem_ was the person who stood across him right now, wearing a smug smile on his face and armed with a gun. _Gin_. It was a _Beretta 92_ pistol gun _._ He could see that much clearly even in the abysmally poor lighting of the area. The muzzle velocity of Beretta was usually around 380 m/s and the effective firing range was a good 50 m. The distance between them was not even close to half of it, which meant a sure shot, given Gin's marksmanship. As for Shinichi, he had already been stripped of all his gadgets that he could have put to use when he was held captive by them. All he had with him now was a few broken ribs, and several cuts and injuries all over the body from when they were escaping the collapsing Organization HQ Building. His breath was getting raspy by the minute, thanks to the broken ribs that were making it difficult for him to breathe. As he stood there on the ground- all alone, in his battered and bruised state, panting, blood seeping out from his injuries, staining his white shirt and blue trousers with red blotches; on the opposite end of Gin's Beretta; he presented an image of complete loss. To think his end would be like this, he thought as his lips curled up into a defeated smile.

Gin fired his gun and Shinichi shut his eyes to brace himself for the inevitable impact. However, to his astonishment and shock, it never hit him. Instead, he was pushed aside and onto the ground by a sudden and completely unexpected overpowering force. His back hit the hard ground and as he opened his eyes to see the spectacle; to his horror, he witnessed the image of a woman falling to the ground after getting hit by the bullet in lieu of him-

 _Ran_.

The terrifying image unfolded in front of his eyes- almost in slow motion; Ran falling to the ground with a loud _'thud'_ , the area above her chest slowly painting red as her shirt soaks in her own blood.

He stands there- numb for a few seconds, unable to register the rapid sequence of events. His brain had stopped responding; all he could see right now was _Ran_ \- covered in a pool of blood in front of his eyes.

 _But that was impossible, wasn't it?_

There's no way this could have happened.

And then suddenly, reality hit him like a thunderbolt; the rude awakening lifting the shroud of numbness fogging his cognitive abilities. That was _real._ And that was actually happening. With each drop of blood, Ran's life was slipping out of her body.

" _RAN!"_ He let out an incredulous gasp.

" _RAAAAAAAAAN!"_

In hindsight, the FBI had somehow managed to breach the area and Gin had been taken down in one shot by FBI's Ace Agent- _Akai Shuichi_ , before he could cause further damage. But the maximum damage had already been done. Somebody was lying on the verge of her death and the life of the person; who was now kneeling beside her; had just been devastated. The one keeling over the dying girl was not Kudou Shinichi- the prodigy high school detective, rather it was a broken man, a helpless young teenage boy, whose everything had been snatched away from him just moments ago. They say the most important thing to an individual is his life- survival is the topmost priority and the most rudimentary element in any Psychological Needs Hierarchy Chain. How ironic it is that circumstances get so bad at times, destiny strikes so hard, that the person wishes he'd rather be dead than stay alive and bear the pain of watching his beloved die right in front of his eyes. Right now, Shinichi wished exactly that. He had long forgotten his own pain. He would have rather had Gin shoot him a million times until his body was reduced to unrecognisable shreds than see Ran lying like this in front of him.

Something was going on in the background. Noises. It was actually Jodie shouting orders to the other FBI officers to call the ambulance immediately and inform them that they have a gunshot victim and thus they should make the necessary preparations in the hospital ASAP. Akai was busy briefing the Gunma Police Headquarters about their undercover takedown. The entire operation had been obviously carried out without the permission of the Japanese police.

But Shinichi's senses were too occupied to process all that.

Pressing his hand against her wound to fruitlessly reduce the bleeding, he slowly gazed at his palms that were now covered in blood- _her_ blood. The bullet had pierced right through her vitals; and some part of his brain knew it was already too late. The part he was actively fighting against, even as the ground beneath her slowly turned vermillion with the blood freely flowing out of her body, despite his endless efforts to block its flow with all that he had.

He didn't even realize that his face was streaming with tears by now. These tears mixed with the blood dripping from his head, as they fell on her irreparable wounds. He was nothing but a helpless man sitting there and mourning over his dying girl; crying, shouting-

"Ran! Don't leave! Please! Stay with me! RAAAAN!"

He could feel her pulse becoming feeble with each passing second under his fingers. No help had arrived yet. The background noises had faded away by now. Shinichi's sobs were the only source of sound in the area. There was a strange silence reigning over the place, as if everybody had lost their last specks of hope, as if they had already accepted God's will and had come to terms with the hard hitting reality of the situation. This was _terrifying_.

And sooner than anyone of them would have wanted, the last beats of her heart silently flickered away. A peaceful pallor spread over her face and Shinichi's everything drowned into nothingness. The universe became null and void for him.

" _RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN!"_

* * *

Shinichi woke up with a start. He was heavily panting and his breathing was labored. He ran a hand through his hair and forehead only to realize he was sweating profusely. Almost on an instinct, his eyes darted around the room searching for someone, someone very important; before finally settling on the peacefully sleeping form of the girl beside him. He unconsciously let out a sigh of relief, releasing a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

' _A nightmare, huh?'_

He bent down to her face, carefully tucking away a few stray strands of her chocolate brown locks behind her ear and placed a soft, feather-like kiss on her forehead, ensuring she wouldn't wake up. She was safe and sound. He inwardly thanked God that it had only been a dream. He wouldn't have been able to hold up had it been real. His eyes softened a bit as he let his gaze wander over her, memorizing each and every feature- the way her long eye lashes framed her closed eye lids, her slightly parted lips moving in tandem with the soft, warm breaths escaping her nostrils, her full red cheeks, her hair cascading down from her head to her shoulders and below and finally her slightly exposed shoulders and collar bone peeking out from within the covers he had tucked her in before they had drifted off to sleep. She was lying on her side and her profile was turned in the general direction where he had been sleeping. She looked so breathtaking when she slept like this; in which her inherent angelic innocence was at its climax. She was a symbol of peace and stability and moreover, she represented the normal life that he had lost once he got pulled into this entire Black Organization mess.

The images of a bullet, a missed target and a woman falling to the ground getting covered in a pool of blood flashed through his mind.

 _The terrifying image unfolded in front of his eyes- almost in slow motion; Ran falling to the ground with a loud 'thud', the area above her chest slowly painting red as her shirt soaks in her own blood._

Shinichi snapped his eyes open. Was he hallucinating with open eyes now?

 _He slowly gazed at his palms that were now covered in blood-_ _her_ _blood. The ground beneath her slowly turned vermillion with the blood freely flowing out of her body…_

He shook his head violently in an attempt to shrug off these undesired, unwelcomed thoughts. It was ludicrous he remembered a nightmare in so vivid detail. It was probably because this one involved _Ran_ , and that was a hard enough blow to his gut.

He peered out of the window from his sitting position on the bed to notice that the heavy rainstorm had ceased. Even though it was dark, he could make out that the sky had cleared considerably. His gaze briefly lingered over Ran again, who was sleeping peacefully without a care in the world. There was a small smile gracing her lips now. A nice dream, maybe? It was this smile of hers which he had fallen in love with in the first place, back when he was four. Shinichi didn't want to see this smile ever fade for the world. It gave him life. He would do everything in his will to preserve it and ensure it never vanished.

Sparing a last glance at her, Shinichi made a decision. A tough and rather unfair decision, nevertheless, he had to do it if he didn't want that nightmare to turn into reality. It was for her own good, for her _protection_. Sure, he'd be betraying her again, breaking his promise yet again; but if this could guarantee her safety, he would do it time and again.

Staring down at his watch kept on the nightstand beside the bed, he noted the time- 3:45 AM. Getting up and making his way ever so quietly towards the crumple of clothes that lay below the farther bedpost, he started picking out his clothes, separating them from hers. He had to leave before she got up. This was the only way. He began getting dressed silently. He would head directly to the secret base the FBI had established in Gunma, about which Jodie had informed him at the last minute the previous evening. Ran obviously didn't know about it, so it was safe to assume that she wouldn't be able to track him.

Now completely dressed and his fierce conviction back in place, he headed to the door.

* * *

 _Shuffling sounds_.

Ran could swear she heard some sounds of clothes shuffling behind her. They had been the cause of her broken slumber. Her eyes which were still heavy, were closed but there was a feeling of wrongness washing over her. She suddenly felt vacant, there was an abrupt absence of warmth which she had felt just seconds ago beside her. But she was too tired to question _why?_ ; her mind was forcing her to go back to sleep.

At the sound of the door clicking shut, her eyes snapped open. She sat up with a start and her eyes shot around only to discover Shinichi missing beside her. No way.

' _He didn't! Did he?'_

Barely managing to wrap the covers around her bare body, Ran all but sprinted to the door. She dashed out managing to confront him right at the top of the staircase, which he was about to descend.

"Ran!"

He turned around in shock. He had been caught completely off-guard by her. She grabbed his arms and pinned him against the opposite wall. Her eyes were glazing with anger and betrayal.

"How could you do this Shinichi!? Yet again!"

"You tried to leave while I was sleeping! I didn't expect you to go so low!" Her voice was trembling with emotion. "Why would you do such an inconsiderate thing, Shinichi?" She was on the verge of tears now. "Is that how much you want me to stay out of this?" Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears.

" _Yes!"_ He fixed his intense gaze on her. She clearly looked hurt.

"Try to understand my predicament here, Ran." It was his turn to hold her by her shoulders now. Her shoulders were not under the covers and his hands were cold. Ran shivered under his touch. "If something were to happen to you because of me, I won't be able to live with it."

"And you think I'll be able to live if something happened to you?" Ran interjected. "You're not going to leave alone, Shinichi. I'm coming along with you. And there's nothing you can do to stop me. It's _my_ decision, _my_ call."

"But your safety is _my_ call, Ran!" Shinichi counter-argued. His grip on her shoulders grew firmer. His conviction, which Ran had managed to break with her words the previous night, was not faltering now. Determination flashed in his eyes. However, something shifted within the blue as he opened his mouth to speak again. "You know I rarely say this out loud, but let me tell you this…. _I love you_ , Ran and I _can't_ afford to lose you. Your safety has _always_ been my topmost priority and will continue to be."

"Don't you think that the person whose safety is in question should have some say in this?" She moved her hands to place them on his chest. "I love you just as much, Shinichi. I feel the need to protect you _the same way_ you feel the need to protect me." Her gaze mirrored his determination. "So, if you think this in any way is going to daunt me from accompanying you, then _you're wrong._ "

Shinichi sighed in defeat. She was stubborn alright. Of course, she was. She has been his most troublesome and toughest case till now.

"Fine. You can come along." He conceded. Although he said this, there was an enigmatic glint in his eyes that didn't quite fit. Ran dismissed it as a sign of his crossness at his unwarranted defeat in the reasoning battle they just had.

"Really? You're taking me along?" Ran's hopes were finally rising. He was ready to take her along!

"Hmm." Was his curt reply.

"Thank You, Shinichi!" For understanding me, she wanted to say; for seeing me as an ally, she wanted to say; as she leaned in to hug him.

But just as she did, she missed the way his hand was dangerously hovering above his watch.

The last thing she heard was "I'm sorry, Ran" whispered in her ear as she hugged him, before blackness swept across her vision. Ran slumped on Shinichi's shoulders.

 _Don't speak as I try to leave,_

' _Cause we both know what we'll choose._

 _If you pull, then I'll push too deep,_

 _And I'll fall right back to you._

He was waiting for the precise moment she would take her eyes away from him so that he could proceed with this impromptu plan he had thought up once she had cleared her stance of not letting him leave alone. Given her karate reflexes, he wouldn't have been able to do this while she was looking at him. That is why he faked conceding to her request in the first place, so that she would lower her guard.

He gathered her up in his arms, taking care her loosely draped covers won't slip and carried her back into the room. Carefully placing her on the bed, he tucked her inside the spare duvets.

' _Cause you are the piece of me,_

 _I wish, I didn't need;_

 _Chasing relentlessly,_

 _Still fight and I don't know why?_

He stared at her sleeping face achingly. His eyes reflected the contrition and the extreme amount of _pain_ , he was experiencing right now. He had betrayed her yet again, wronged her yet again. This time, he had wounded her heart, she might never trust his words again. But he didn't have a choice. Who, in their right mind, would willingly take the person they love so dearly, into the lion's den?

' _Also, she might be there, the most important person in this world to me, I can't let her die…'_

He'd said that to Takagi-keiji once, and had meant every word of it. He simply can't live to see that happen.

"I'm really sorry Ran…" sparing a last glance at her, he turned around to leave. "But this is for the best."

Shutting the door after him, he descended the stairs, this time, without being interrupted.

 _If our love is tragedy,_

 _Why are you my remedy?_

 _If our love's insanity,_

 _Why are you my clarity?_

* * *

 **Epilogue:**

 _Next Morning_

Ran woke up with a dull throbbing in her limbs. She shut and opened her eyes, trying to focus her vision. She sat up on the bed, noticing her barely clad body tucked inside a couple of warm duvets. Her eyes wandered around the room, searchingly, trying to actively convince herself that what had happened last night- her entire confrontation with Shinichi on the threshold of her house, had only been a dream. That she would wake up and find Shinichi still sleeping soundly beside her. But her eyes just kept searching every nook and corner of the room within her vision. It was a vain attempt. He was gone. Vanished somewhere she can't even find him. Her gaze finally settled outside the window. Dark clouds choked to the brim with an unfathomable quantity of water pervaded the sky. Not a ray of sunlight filtered through. A waterspout may commence any time now. How apt it was that it perfectly mirrored her own emotions at the moment. Now even Mother Nature was making fun of her, huh?

Watching the sky as a low rumble emitted through it, she whispered to no one in general "Come back home safe, Shinichi…."

 _ **The End.**_

* * *

A/N: And with this, I mark my debut as an author on this forum. Please review guys! I would love to get some sort of a feedback! One word, a phrase, a sentence, anything would be good :) I really enjoyed myself while writing this. Some scenes were really difficult to come around. That one scene in which Shinichi is about to knock Ran out with his wristwatch, I was literally screaming at my laptop screen "Shinichi! You backstabber! _Et tu, Brute_?" Haha XD Well, so I hope you enjoyed as well.

Also, please feel free to pm me in case you've something to ask or if you want to give me suggestions. I appreciate constructive criticism.

 _Much love,_

Ku10-41

P.S: I might do a sequel with a slightly happier ending. I don't know! You guys decide! But even if I do, I will publish it as a separate story.


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